Existential Crisis

Hello!

So I've seen and read, especially recently, a lot of people going through the common problem often referred to as, "The Existential Crisis." Basically, doubting the importance of their being often accompanied by a large feeling of self-doubt or that you'll never accomplish anything worth noting. (See: The Secret Life of Walter Mitty.)

So I thought I'd share mine because...reasons.

I was doing Trig. today *inwardly groaning*, which ended very anti-climatically in tears.

Yes, tears. Not just that though- no. These tears brought on a wallop of self-doubt, and before I knew it, I had connected the lack of understanding in Trig. with basically every disappointing thing I had ever done, which ended up contributing to how I was a generally disappointing person as a whole.

Real mature, I know.

I turned a math lesson into a self- pity -party which did nothing but emotionally destroyed me for an hour, and made me feel very close to worthless, and like I had no purpose in life.

So before you go on ranting about, "But you have to understand that God will put you where you need to go, and it will all be ok in the end," because I know that bit. That's the bit I've always known since I could basically understand human speech. What I'd like to know is how to survive the bits inbetween that bit. The actual decisions you have to make for yourself. Because seriously, neither society nor your parents tell you the middle part about you actually being an adult. It literally goes over everyone's head.

They don't tell you that Trig. will make you panic because, "I don't know what congruent triangles are, I'm going to fail college!" even when you're not quite sure what you're doing with your life.

They actually sugar-coat that part some.

I did some research on this and it would seem that a surprising number of people suffer from this "mid-life crisis." I may as well be added to that last. I'm not judging, I just spent the last hour crying over math, how ugly I was, how lonely I was, how un-approachable I was, how dumb I was, etc. Don't worry, apparently a lot of people are going through the same thing.

If we're mad, we may as well be mad together, right? *cries*

Yea, so I did that this afternoon. Then ate loads of chocolate and cried about my weight. *bangs head.*

The point is, I suppose, that you're not alone in thinking that you're unimportant, insignificant, and all together unnoticeable. We all go through it. I've even heard some people get over this and do important things with their lives. Who knew, right?

So I'll be keeping a journal (read somewhere that it helped) which I suppose you're supposed to make an entry every day, and then the next day when you go and make another entry, you read yesterday's, and it's supposed to make you feel better or something.

Like, if you wrote "Such a stupid-head today," then the next day you'd read it, kind of smile, and force yourself to feel good about yourself by seeing how ridiculous that entry was. So I'll be hopefully posting about how well that goes for me. *continues crying*

DON'T LET YOUR EMOTIONS RULE YOU.

Anyways, for all you self-doubting people out there, I feel you. We all go through those bad days, and it doesn't feel like it at the moment, but supposedly it's supposed to get better. And you know, you're only young once. May as well enjoy life while your vision is still good. :)

With love,

Gwen